I took my pudgy little lover of a Chihuahua, Bodie, to the vet yesterday to get a booster shot for some new rat-born illness that has (allegedly) been afflicting dogs throughout my zip code. I really like my vet(s) – they seem to genuinely like and care for my dogs, and they’re great about following up after visits and offering advice and support when necessary – but I do feel like they’re a little quick to medicate/operate/vaccinate which troubles both me and my bank balance. With Buca, my other dog, I tend to be a little more dismissive about their constant recommendations for one procedure or another because I know she’s had great care since she was a puppy, but since I found Bodie and have no idea exactly what the first years of his life were like (except that they certainly weren’t good) I’m more prone to go ahead and give him the extra shots or medicines. Anyway.
Bodie was pretty good, only growling at about half of the other dogs in the waiting room, and actually made it through the whole appointment without a muzzle for the first time (he generally tries to snap at the vet techs while they poke and prod him, so we muzzle him while he’s examined) which was a pretty big step in his constant battle with trust. However, when the vet tech returned him to me she said “I think his other eye membrane is starting to prolapse…”
Bodie has had a condition in his right eye since I’ve had him known as Cherry Eye wherein a gland in the dog’s third eyelid becomes inflamed and visible. As the vet tech noted (and I had begun to notice as well) it seemed as though it was beginning to happen in his left eye as well. Here’s the thing, Bodie does not seem affected by his eyes whatsoever and the vet who had initially examined him 2+ years ago said “if it doesn’t bother you to look at it, then you never need to do anything about it unless it seems to bother him” and since it doesn’t bother me, we haven’t.
I want to emphasize, lest you think I am a terrible pet owner, that Bodie REALLY doesn’t seem bothered by his eyes. He never paws at them, they don’t water, there’s no discharge, the inflamed glands do not affect his vision… I really think this surgery would be cosmetic.
The vet last night however said that there is no way that Bodie’s not annoyed by the inflamed glands (“imagine having something, a stye for example, in your eye every single day”) and so, feeling like I had no choice, I agreed to have his eyes re-examined and an estimate done for surgery ($60 for what amounted to 5 minutes of the vet’s time).
When the receptionist handed me the estimate I laughed. $1800 for what it seems to me is a mostly cosmetic (and entirely elective) surgery. Moreover, I just plain don’t have $1800 to spend on surgery for my dog for something which isn’t life threatening. I thanked them for their help, paid my $130 tab for the shots and the visit (and the topical steroids for his eyes “to see if it would help” which ended up on just about everything but Bodie’s eyes this morning. The directions say to spread it on his cornea. Really? You see if your dog will let you smear goo onto his eyeball.), and left.
I couldn’t shake the guilt though of what now felt like a choice I’d made to let my dog live with permanent irritation in his eyes and tried to work out in my head where I could cut expenses to find an extra $1800. I mean, it would drive me nuts to have something in my eye all the time. But $1800? I just cannot afford that. I can’t. I couldn’t really afford it even for myself. “Remember that he’s a dog,” my father told me.
To allay some guilt, I took Bodie to PetSmart where I bought him basically anything he showed any sniffing interest in. $64 in chew toys and raw hides later, I felt a little less terrible about his poor eyes.
This morning though… this morning I feel like an idiot. I went to the vet for one $16 shot and ended up $200 lighter in the purse, but in basically the same situation I was before the visit. Yeah, the pups got some new toys out of the deal (and I got a new, special kind of guilt) but basically, my dog still has jacked up eyes and I’m still not going to be able to do anything about it.
*Poor. Guilt-ridden. Presents = Love.
1 week ago
